What Anxiety Feels Like for the Person
Anxiety is more than just stress. It can manifest as a racing heart, trouble breathing, shaking, dizziness, or intrusive thoughts. People with anxiety often feel misunderstood, overwhelmed, or judged for emotions they can’t control. Your words and tone can either calm or intensify their state.
Understanding this baseline is crucial. You’re not there to “fix” them — you’re there to make them feel safe. Empathy and presence are more important than advice.
Why your response matters
When someone opens up about anxiety, your reaction becomes a key part of their emotional experience. According to the American Psychological Association, supportive responses help reduce the intensity of the anxious episode.
The wrong words can reinforce shame or isolation. A helpful response validates their emotions and provides grounding.
What to say to someone with anxiety
1. “I’m here for you.”
This simple phrase offers presence. It doesn’t demand explanations, nor does it push solutions. You’re letting them know they’re not alone.
2. “You’re not alone in this.”
Isolation amplifies anxiety. Reassure the person that what they’re experiencing is common — and that you’re by their side.
3. “It’s okay to feel like this.”
Validation helps reduce internal resistance. When people feel they “shouldn’t” be anxious, symptoms often worsen.
4. “Take your time.”
Avoid rushing their emotional process. Giving someone space helps them regulate naturally.
5. “Can I help you ground yourself?”
Offer practical support. Breathing exercises, counting techniques, or holding an object can reduce symptoms. Apps like Avocado offer gentle guidance for grounding and mindfulness.
What to avoid saying
1. “Just calm down.”
This is counterproductive. If they could “just calm down,” they would have done so already.
2. “You’re overreacting.”
This invalidates their experience. Anxiety may seem disproportionate from the outside, but it feels very real internally.
3. “It’s all in your head.”
Even if the anxiety doesn’t match reality, the physiological symptoms are real. Brushing it off as imaginary adds shame.
4. “Others have it worse.”
This minimizes their struggle. Comparison rarely helps and often shuts down honest communication.
How to talk with someone with anxiety during a panic attack
Panic attacks often come suddenly and can feel life-threatening. Use short, clear sentences and a calm tone.
Best things to say:
- “You’re safe.”
- “This will pass.”
- “Let’s breathe together.”
Focus on grounding:
- Help them describe their surroundings.
- Use the 5-4-3-2-1 technique (5 things you see, 4 you can touch, etc.).
- Use soft guidance from tools like Avocado to support breathwork or calming sounds.
What to talk about with someone who has anxiety (outside of a crisis)
Conversations outside of panic moments can help build trust. But they should happen only with consent.
Topics that help:
- What tends to trigger anxiety?
- What do they find helpful during hard moments?
- How do they feel after anxiety episodes?
- Do they want professional help? (Only if the person expresses openness.)
Let them lead the conversation. If they don’t want to talk, don’t push.
Body language and tone also matter
Words are important, but non-verbal cues shape perception. Maintain soft eye contact, open posture, and calm tone. Avoid crossing arms or appearing distracted. Silence can be powerful when it communicates presence, not discomfort.
Sometimes, sitting next to them quietly does more than any words.
Long-term support tips
Check in regularly
Ask things like:
- “How have you been feeling lately?”
- “Anything been harder than usual this week?”
Be consistent, not overwhelming. Let them know you care, without making it about fixing them.
Offer help with daily tasks
Anxiety often makes small tasks feel overwhelming. Offering to go with them to appointments or help with paperwork can be deeply supportive.
Suggest tools, gently
Apps like Avocado offer anxiety check-ins, breathing timers, and daily journaling. Introduce it gently, like:
“I found this app helpful for managing stress. No pressure, just thought of you.”
What not to do when trying to help
- Don’t give unsolicited advice.
- Don’t pressure them to open up.
- Don’t talk over their emotions.
- Don’t make it about your experience.
Helping someone with anxiety isn’t about “saving” them. It’s about being a stable, understanding presence in their life.
When to suggest professional support
You’re not a therapist — and you don’t need to be. If their anxiety interferes with daily functioning, or if you sense they’re overwhelmed often, suggest seeking help gently.
Say:
“Would you ever consider talking to someone trained in this? I think you deserve support that really helps.”
Let them lead. Offer to help research options, but never push.
How Avocado can help with anxiety support
Avocado is an ai companion for mental health designed to gently support users with anxiety, stress, and mood challenges. Features include:
- Mood tracking: helps identify patterns over time
- Grounding techniques: for real-time anxiety moments
- Mindful journaling: guided prompts to reflect
- SOS support: calming tools for acute stress
Whether you’re helping someone or dealing with anxiety yourself, Avocado can be a soft and safe place to start.
Summary of key phrases to use
| Situation | Say This |
| They seem anxious | “I’m here for you.” |
| They open up | “It’s okay to feel this way.” |
| They’re overwhelmed | “Take your time.” |
| Panic attack | “You’re safe. Let’s breathe together.” |
| Ongoing support | “Want to talk about what helps you feel better?” |
Final thoughts
Supporting someone with anxiety is about compassion, presence, and patience. You don’t need to be perfect. Just stay kind, consistent, and open.
Your role is not to eliminate their anxiety — it’s to make them feel less alone in facing it.
And if you ever need help figuring out how to support someone, or take care of yourself in the process, apps like Avocado are designed to make those steps easier, softer, and more accessible.
